Film

Hitman: Agent 47 | Movie Review

I honestly can’t tell you why I decided to see this movie. I had time to kill, and my choices were this crap or Taxi, which is a documentary directed by Jafar Panahi that I regret not seeing.
I’ve played the games when I was a kid, and if I had the opportunity I’d play them now. The latest installment that I played was Hitman: Absolution, and the story in that GAME was developed better than the story in this movie. I find this to be very ironic because the story in Hitman: Agent 47 is loosely based on Absolution (sort of. Some plot elements definitely came from Absolution).
The movie has some great action scenes that are ruined by corny dialogue. At one point Zachary Quinto’s character breaks a knife that’s been stabbed into him by flexing his muscles. HE BREAKS A KNIFE, by flexing ONE muscle. It’s impressive, surprising, and very interesting. And then all of it is ruined by him saying something like “Didn’t expect that, huh?” Why? Who’s decision was this?
Overall, the movie has more potholes than plot. Some of Agent 47’s choices and actions make no sense at all, and it’s difficult to tell where his motivations are. I know it’s stupid to expect character development from a shitty action film, but even Shoot ’em Up had more character.
At the end of the movie it seems like some strings are being tied together. “T”s are crossed and “I”s are dotted. But at that point, after nearly an hour of horrible plot, I’m not sure if that was a conscious choice made by the director/screenplay writer, or if I was experiencing Stockholm Syndrome and just trying to justify the time and money I wasted when I decided I wanted to see this movie.
3/10. Would not recommend. Not even if you’re looking for a movie to make fun of with your friends.

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